I am so excited for 2020 and even more so for the next decade. Looking back on these past ten years in a reflective light has given me so much encouragement.
BUT let's be real my initial response to 2020 was far from enthusiasm and excitement.
Not only is it the start of a new decade, but it also marks my 30th year of living.
We live in an agest society, and I will be the first to admit that for a long time, the thought of getting "older" was not only dreaded but also deeply feared.
This past year I have spent a lot of time reframing the way I think about life, self-development, and happiness.
Personal development isn't easy, and while I have done a lot of work when I first realized I would be turning 30 in 2020, my mind immediately went to all the reasons why turning 30 was going to suck.
The shoulda, coulda, woulda's were front and center in my mind, and all I thought about was
"but, I thought my life would look like fill in the blank"
It's easy to get caught up in all the areas of our life where we feel we have fallen short, but I gotta tell ya something most of those feelings aren't even really ours.
From the moment we enter the world, we begin to absorb others' expectations.
Over time we learn that A + B = C aka success, love, happiness.
Add social media to the mix, and our equation gets even more jacked. We compare our oranges to someone else's grapes and feel unsatisfied. It's a crappy way to live, and yet so many of us are stuck in the comparison trap.
So what's the point of me saying all this?
It's to say - first, you are not alone and second, you don't have start 2020 and the next decade feeling all the weight of other people's unfulfilled dreams and expectations for your life.
When my mind was a war zone with regret and comparison, two questions helped me snap the hell out of it, and I think they'll help you too.
"What have you accomplished in the past ten years?"
"Imagine how much more you can do in another ten years?"
Taking the time to answer these questions will leave you feeling gratitude and pride for all the badass things you've accomplished and survived.
You'll begin 2020 feeling empowered, asking, "how much more can I accomplish in another ten years?"
Now if you are thinking to yourself how do these questions circle back to the A + B = C equation it's this-
If you find that after reviewing the past decade feels pretty great but could feel better ask yourself two questions
"do I feel this way because it's something I truly want?"
if yes - "what do I need to change in order to get there?"
if no - release that expectation that was never really yours and ask "what DO I want for my life?"